Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Insomnia


This's currently my desktop background, my fb profile picture and feel the urge to upload into my blog too.
First, the message is strong, worth reminded.
Second, it's drawn by me.
Third, I couldn't sleep and it's 3a.m. now, I have nothing better than uploading a photo so that I could blog.

Something happened.
Starting of August itself wasn't pleasant for me.
Obstructive.
I feel depressed.
A thing caught my feelings so deeply.
I do not like to feel bad and terrible.
To have known me for so long, I bet you know.
If it's so depressing, I would not let myself and this feelings persist long.
So, I gave myself one more day.
If the situation continues, I guess it would be my decision to put it a stop.
Although it's my fault in the first place, I'm stubborn and cruel enough just to protect myself from crying anymore.
The thing I learnt to be tough and matured, is to be less positive to your feelings.
When you're emotional, you tend to be weak and weak is the key to disrupt you.
I do not know why I said these, but at this moment, I could not sleep because of this particular matter and from sad, I turned angry and then I'm sad, then angry, then sad again, non-stop cycles made me so awake.
I'm supposed to sleep, there's a baptism test today, I should sleep and wake up early to study so that I could pass it.
If making me feel so terrible is a revenge, I sincerely applause.

I woke up having a nightmare this morning, I was so scared that I feel so cold and my pillow is wet. I cried in my dream. And in reality. I knew I had had too much. I feel so stressed. You feel it's my fault, so do I. But, not saying out is the worst punishment. I could not stand it anymore. 1 more day. My max.


Signed off,


-Mogu-

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