Things are not running well again

I have no idea why i need to post this article to let people share my sorrow and frustration...but somehow, my heart told me that i have to do something to release this stress of mine...
When it's time to go back to college, i dun feel like doing it...
too many things to cope up...
and i'm still so blur and miserable...

Now, i forgot to pass up the assignments which teacher wants us to do so by the last day of our UPS exam...
Me and carmen struggled so hard to complete it and we succeeded...
On the last day of exam, i planned to hand it in right after exam, before i got on the bus to seremban....
Carmen's assignment is with me...
But once i finished my exam, i'm so excited that i straight away went back to room to pack my things so tat i'll be on time for the bus and i totally forgot about the assignments!!!!
OMG!!!
i just realised it just now...
How am i going to tell teacher?
What if teacher dont accept my apology and reasons?
There's a lot of "what if" that makes me feel like crying now....
Plus, i din perform well in my chemistry exam this time which gives teacher a perfect timing to scold me...
Haiz....

Then, i need to study chemistry, maths and bio all by myself once i'm back...
cos 1 week before the exam, i'm so shiok in studying the topics to be tested only till i neglected the new topics which teacher taught...
When i'm in lectures, i'm studying...
Not paying attention at all...
without realising, teachers had finished the new topic....
Now i dont understand a single thing that teacher taught...
Sigh...

I'm so so stress....

I'm so afraid to get back to college...get back to my studies....
1 week of holidays was spent surfing internet, watching movies and sleep...
brain is totally not functioning...
things seem to be so uncertain for me...
a lot of things to do...
really a lot...

i wish i have more time....
really hope so...
i want to be alone now....
closing myself in my sis room...
can i allow myself to daydream for another day?
please?

feel like crying again....
wanna go home....
dun wan to continue my studies ...
but it would be so irresponsible if i think this way....
haiz....

i need someone to talk to, but he's not here....

Dear God:
It's been quite s0metime since my last misery.... I'm so lost now...God, please lead me to the way You have designed for me to walk through... Please dont let satan took me over... Please give me the strength to continue and overcome all these challenges...I pray that every day is designed to let me grown up and that i have the ability to do so... I feel so weak now.... I need You, Father.... In Jesus name i prayed. Amen.



-mogu-